Years ago I went on vacation with my aunt, uncle and cousin. They rented a house near Seaside, Florida where we spent Christmas and New Year’s together. I loved everything about my time there.
I loved my yellow room and private bathroom, the young cat who would come running to me when I came down the stairs and settled on the couch. She would immediately get comfortable across my chest, almost nestled in my neck. She was sweet and smelled like the beach.
I was also deep into a book recommended by a friend of mine: Possession by A.S Byatt. I would take it to the beach and read for hours on a blanket. My thoughts started to borrow the tone of the book, so much so that I even wrote in that style to the friend who had recommended it.
There was some melody to it all, a rhythm that felt like a dance of the senses.
And I loved the area. I loved Seaside, Seagrove Beach, Rosemary. It was so welcoming and relaxing and I really appreciated the architecture of the villages built in that area.
I felt so comfortable there and wanted to share it, so I bought a nice card to send to a close friend of mine in Montreal.
Years later, I was given money for a vacation to a place of my choosing. As I was trying to decide where to go, the friend who had received the card reminded me of how special that place had felt to me and it all came rushing back. I was surprised that I had forgotten about it so easily and was so grateful that she was taking me back to it through joy.
I have been back many times since then and even managed to finally bring my Mom from France to discover it this past spring.
I do have a special connection to that area and if my friend hadn’t held the dream for me, I probably would have never thought it possible for me to go back there. It felt like a dream come true to be there with my Mom this year.
Another example takes me back to last year. I really wanted to make some progress paying off my debts and the banks were not being helpful. I mentioned it to a friend of mine who has a tendency to immediately get on the path of a solution whenever presented with any challenge. She sees the possibilities a lot faster than most which is truly a beautiful quality. She offered to lend me money at a very low interest rate. I was quite taken aback by such generosity because I knew my circumstances and I was so afraid of what would happen if for some reason I wasn’t able to fulfill my obligation toward her. My life had a lot of uncertainty in it. She saw clearly through that and didn’t seem to mind at all. She trusted me, our friendship, had faith in my future, my potential, my values and who I was…more so than I did myself at the time. So even though I wasn’t entirely sure, I decided to take the risk and trust her belief. Trust by proxy in a way.
One year later, I am days away from paying her back completely and my life has changed tremendously in that respect. She held fast to what she saw in me and knew of me. I held on to that beacon and it allowed me to believe as she believed as I saw things unfolding and that month after month I was doing it. Let me say too that there were some months at the beginning where I was in no position to make the monthly payment. It never changed anything for her. She was fine with it, still trusted that all would be well. I was less relaxed about it, filled with guilt and doubt. But when things turned around and I managed to slowly compensate for those “empty” months and saw the progress, I was encouraged and my belief caught up with hers. By her not doubting, by leaving an open space, a non-judgmental space, free of fear, it allowed for something beautiful to bloom….I remembered my dream and how possible it was, how very attainable it was if I just believed in it myself, if, like she did, I looked at the possibility rather than the doubt.
Here, I want to add this friend’s point of view as well:
“What needs to also be said, is that you also helped me in allowing me to loan you the money — you assisted me in my journey of trust. A trust I truly believed I would never hold again for another person. You allowed me to put “my work” into action and the experience reinforced what I believed intellectually, but wasn’t 100% sure — the belief was that I would trust again and that my faith had not been destroyed by actions of those in my past. This experience helped me understand the word unconditional and kindness in its truest form.”
So I am deeply grateful for my dream holder friends. They keep the light on when I think I can’t find the switch. They keep my dreams in a warm place, they remind me that I once had them so that I may find my way back to them when I’m ready to make them come true and the journey is all the sweeter because of it!
Are you a dream holder for someone? Who in your life has been a dream holder for you? Feel free to share in the comment section if you’d like.
You can find me at www.thepowerofemotions.ca